my dad said
I looked too skinny
I am hyper
flying down the staircase
my jewelry
falls off
my thin wrists
don't get in my way
I ate some mango
two pieces of cantelope
and I'm full
going to see
my friend
race his dragster
as a producer
I go
everywhere
I now have
the gift
of the gab
and I can talk
with the best
of them
were always
laughing
but we talk
about business
and politics
the oversaturation
of product
creating a net negative
why costs have been cut
it's not as archival
it is an artform
but how can you make
a library
of reality TV?
wow
it's working
every time I
go outside
it's raining
10G's
15G's
all I have
to do
is close
three doors
I created this
all by myself
the best team
highly regarded
slick package
no risk
so now
it rains
not just every week
but everyday
I go outside
sort of amazing
and it was
always here
just never
knew
isn't that amazing
my big brothers
are masters
of the universe
super powers
from
all over
the world
Beverly Hills
Miami
Las Vegas
Utah
Texas
Canada
Los Angeles
London
Canada
San Francisco
Taiwan
Philippines
France
Israel
the most powerful lawyer
in the entertainment industry
in intellectual property
big wheel in banking
race car drivers
cancer research docs
big wheel in investment banking
developer of more than
6,000 homes
big wheel in office buildings
developer of shopping malls
and business parks
ceo's of technology
and various computer companies
producers, writers
directors to the stars
artists
the list goes
on and on
and on
super masculine
and even muscular
handsome
cherishing
and doting
of me
emotionally supportive
intellectually stimulating
gentlemen
respectful
and generous
I'm getting spoiled
over here
and I love it
never a boring
space
no nagging
no negativity
only laughter
brightness
happy times
happy smiles
funny stories
they tell me
and I tell them
so powerful
so well known
like celebrities
in their industry
from the ground up
self-made
quoted
in various publications
respectable
honest
and formidable
sought after
razzle
dazzle
me
protective
of me
they would follow
to the ends of the earth
sometimes
maybe a little
controlling
but in a good way
and my
female friends
smart, funny
beautiful and
successful
more daring
than me
but that's ok
my big brothers
and sisters
they cherish me
because I'm like
a feminine
creative
funny
sexy
skinny
little
saint
a lady
of leisure
who deserve
to be cherished
as I will always
cherish them
ok
I'm not Buddhist
anymore
what happened?
now
let's try
meditation
everyday
and all day
clear blue sky
peeking out from beneath
the velvet curtain
I lie in meditation
my comfy silk pillow
still hyper with excitement
so I fall back
right above a sleep state
at 8am
messages that come to me
like dreams
how the collateral will look
the branding
the pitch
the distribution
film style
how to make it credible
how to systemize it
package it
a seamless
effortless operation
this is only one market
then auto renewal
unbeatable team
built on trust
and loyalty
showing gratitude
to the Master of the Universe
who brought me here
my mom
my best friend
she loves jewelry
and deserves it
I give these as gifts
very smart woman
charismatic, regal
endlessly doting
and she has lot of free advice
sometimes too much
but we always have fun
my silly jokes
she loves
and I miss her
I am a saint
a kind and feminine one
also extremely busy
these days
traveling
meetings
deadlines
so busy
celebrities
now
it will just get
busier
stay focused
he said
it's true
someone wants me
to be in a movie
on their record
produce a TV show
so many things
when will I paint
my 50 canvasses?
carrots
carrot juice
veges
chicken
fish
sometimes steak
little bit of carbs
no wine
water
coca cola
no sugar
even my fingers
are shrinking
dad says
I look too skinny
heehee
he wants me to paint
he says I have talent
he is an expert
and they all said so too
feels good
he always praises me
I like this lifestyle
rising at 8 or 9
late breakfast
the entire day
I can work out
instead, I create
and set forth
the new message
for the world
all this time
and I still haven't
finished these projects
secure property
with tall black gates
only known cars
can enter
my huge mansion
marble starburst
30-foot ceilings
pool, waterfall and jacuzzi
no tiny rooms here
no formica
no dead ends
just arches
bays
marble
and granite
exotic woods
fireplaces and balconies
everywhere
huge kitchen
a pantry
as big as
a bedroom
my two painting studios
my TV studio
my editing bay
my office
my master suite
multiple living rooms
multiple garages
multiple suites
double spiral staircases
plans for my steam bath
20-foot closets
Im the only one here
left empty for more
than a year
why leave it empty?
I love my religions
Catholic
Jewish
Buddhist
Kabbalist
Spiritualist
what's next?
converted Shiksa
Laserbeam
like a laser
my new goal
20 G's a week
is that all right with you?
I did 30 last qtr
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo
Thanks to my sponsor
chanting
in rhythm
resonating
life energy
we are all connected
we are cleansing
healing our karma
I call it
in my honor
I touch it
an untapped force
unleashing something so powerful
I am guided
but it comes from within
I am my own God
manifesting
I am Buddha
it's been a tough road
now we need to correct this
clean up this karma
we need to be honest
truthful
allow peace and forgiveness
know that there is no harm intended
we need to clean up this karma
else this will last forever
Radiate
I send you
a bright pink ball
radiating energy
from my heart
to my guides
to your guides
to your heart
I see you kicking boxes
blown over by anger and rage
allow truth
release and forgive
I forgive you
but need to be healed
believe the truth
I send you
loving healing energy
so you
can circle it back
to me
so mote it be
The Gift
it's the light
see it
shining through
from the other side
becoming rich and supple
translucent
a gradation
glowing and alive
an ethereal answer
to the question
stare at it for hours
receive your oracle
everything happens for a reason
to arrive at this perfect moment
everyday revealing another layer
waiting to be unveiled
a new perspective
a wave of emotion
you are at peace
it appears
as an organic manifestation
my creation
a symbolic representation
of a technologically, politically
sexually driven materialistic society
view it again
find beauty
in minimalism
existentialism
being a conduit
for creation
or a message
from spirit
a vehicle or bridge
to the other side
and so
they have given
us
a gift
Sculptress
I can feel it
silky
smooth
all even and tanned
I walk past and flash a mirror
dangerous
deadly curves
long silky wisp of brown curl
I am a sculptor
my neck
high cheekbones
my stomach
visualize a sixpack
well no
just a flat washboard stomach
toned calves, thighs
arms with definition
not bulky
soft shoulders, petite
still the feminine femme
in mini and slit skirts
who loves to be at home
to take care of her man
The Oracle
I get lost in it
I step inside the color
surrounding me
like a warm blanket
I forget everything
what time it is
my name
what the temperature is
outside my of body
the movement just comes
I'm connected
to some fantastic power out there
that doesn't want to stop
it keeps calling me
to go on forever
and when I move the brush
it is like moving an extension of my soul
it's part of me
it begins to speak a language
not easily articulated with words
it becomes a moment of truth
an explanation for the past
and the floor plan for the future
it's a sacred process
intimate and intense
and when I'm done
it becomes
the oracle
Sacred Shrine
I am laughing
lying here in my silk sheets
staring at the 30 foot ceiling
what should I paint today
this is my daily ritual
walk across the marble starburst
which joins the east and west wing
I've filled the whole entrance with candles
let it be a sacred shrine
it is so beautiful
especially at night
I play the music
it appears like a jet about to land
I've come here to be peaceful
the waterfall flows
into the pool
reschedule the photoshoot
and the trainer
it's Wednesday
lunch at the country club
takes a whole day
this is so fun
no one to answer to
no one is here but me
no other schedule but my own
L A with my producers
or my beautiful city by the bay
maybe the condos in Cabo
or the villa in Cancun
your Chateau in Switzerland
or Miami or Utah
Coquilla Island too
I'll go with you
if you want me to
just ask me
Got it
He is well connected
on every level
the politicians
are his best friends
if you want something
or need something done
I think
all he does
is make a phone call
so be careful
with what you ask for
you might just get it
Mastery
That is so sexy
I love your lear jet
and helicopter
wealth is so relative
it is such a status symbol
for other people
what they don't know
is status means nothing
unless you're having fun
status is an earthly limitation
it's all about how you feel
that's where the real maturity comes in
but what is so nice
is that you are a true leader
every time we talk
you motivate and push me
and with all your accomplishments
you have remained
humble
Fortress
If you are to be
my friend
and if you become
my true friend
masculine male
chivalrous and protective of me
cherishing of only me
and I
nurturing and loyal
feminine femme
worshiping only you
we will take a journey
first upon the spiritual plane
before the physical
Our trust will be built
in every instance
and every situation
on the soil of admiration
appreciation, courtesy and confidence
I know you won't let me down
you cherish me
you back me up
I support you
I give to you
create for you
I am loyal only to you
I would give you the shirt off my back if you needed it
risk my life to rescue you if you were in danger
believe me because what I say to you now is true
I would move the heavens and the earth
command my army to save you
I will stand by your side
through thick and thin
no matter what
I would never hold you down
because I trust your judgment
you don't need others to show you the way
you are confident within
knowing your silent power
and you would move the heavens and the earth
to protect me
And every artifact
every musical score
every print and painting
every story and word
that I breathe the breath of life into
I breathe in from the universe
and exhale my passion,
my tears, my sorrows
my births and deaths
my years
of which you become a part of
which becomes immortalized
after I leave this earthly plane
this material world
With every turn and movement
every layer of change our souls encounter
you are with me
as I will continue to be by your side
we will grow and expand
I will be there for you
every step of the way
Our blood will together run deep
and intertwined
like the branches of veins
our lives will mesh together
to become one
rock solid
Fortress
as the sun kisses the flowers
and the wind moves the rain
fire melts our bones together
as solid as the earth before us
hold my hand as we travel
through the tree of life
watch what becomes
and what unfolds
our gift becomes greater
when we give
and grow together
I will be yours forever
I know we are both in high demand
neither lear jet nor helicopter
can take me away
You will be mine
until the last breath of life
leaves your lips and mine
forever after
in the spirit world
you will still be mine
It Is Written
So Mote It Be
Loving Energy
all I have
is pure love
pure love for you
pure love for me
pure love for my brother
and for my sister
for my mother my father
my neighbor
my friend and foe
because with all your beauty, intelligence,
foibles and imperfections
I still love you
as you are a child of God
I still have compassion for you
as you are a child of God
we all need to learn lessons
as I continue to
maybe you may need to learn one too
and nothing is done with harmful intention
it's not part of the universal law
it's not good for karma
so don't hate me
and don't be jealous
because all that I am now
is Pure Loving Energy
and Pure Love
don't get me wrong
we all have our limitations
I can still give you a gracious "no"
but not with energy
or force
just "no"
so don't hate me
and don't be jealous
because all that I am now
is Pure Loving Energy
pure compassion
as you are a child of God
and you are
pure Love too
